I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
another moral hangover. fuck.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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