I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
