I think scott just propositioned me for sex
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
