Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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