a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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