it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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