We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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