I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
