Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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