I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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