he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's the barista slut.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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