But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
