How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
