That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
