Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
