no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
