Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
