What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
