had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
