hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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