She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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