He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
