this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
