I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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