It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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