im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They have beer where we have blood.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
