Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
