it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
