dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
