what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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