We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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