I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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