lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
