I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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