Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i think my cat just said my name.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
