We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
