Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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