I don't remember. Are we still dating?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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