"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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