I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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