It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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