weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
