How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
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Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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