You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
