it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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