i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
