My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
