Swine flu. Run for my life!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
