first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
do herpes really smell.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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