Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
