dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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