After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
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