Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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