i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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