so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
