I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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