Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
pop tarts are not kleenex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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